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Millennium Baby Boom By Ron Callari October 4, 1999
During the Ides of March, or perhaps on April Fool's Day 1999, there was an unusual amount of hanky panky going on. In the race to conceive the first Millennium Babies, frenzied fornication may have reached an all-time high. By connecting to this supposedly auspicious moment in time, moms and dads perceived a way of differentiating their expected sons and daughters from we ordinary folk who had the misfortune of being born in the 20th century -- the last progeny of the 2nd millennium vs. the first pioneers of the 3rd. Forget the fact that they'll lose their 1999 tax credit. These turn-of-the century mommas and papas have their eyes on the future, hoping a definite distinction will emerge between those that reach Planet Earth on December 31, 99 at 1159PM and those that wail their first tune at 120001AM, 00. And so they will come, credited with an achievement that was virtually none of their doing, but packing them with enough leverage to make them smug about their new-found existence. (If anyone should be credited, kudos should be given to the parents who had the marketing smarts to tie a timely push to the tick of the clock on the wall.) In anticipation of the youngster's arrival, stories are already circulating about their VIP status. We've developed a cartoon called "Kidd Millennium", which follows the title character from conception through pregnancy and then delivery in real time scheduled for (what else) January 1, 2000. In Beijing, rumors abound that the World Health Organization (WHO) will give preferential treatment to babies born at the crack of that very special midnight. Should it be any surprise that nubile Beijing women began planning pregnancies, the truth of the rumor notwithstanding? (Turns out WHO has started a search of its own for the culprits who started that erroneous buzz.) One forecast noted by Newsweek's Jerry Adler estimates 3.9 million American children will be born in the year 2000 (give-or-take a few thousand, not counting those dropped on their heads during Y2K power failures). And since the life expectancy is doubling from the last turn of the century, some 70,000 are expected to live to 2100. In other words: Not only are we going to have to deal with their likely egocentricity and narcissistic tendencies, but these little critters will be under foot for a long time. Another thing that's certain is that we won't be able to miss the media coverage. Camera crews from all major networks will be swamping maternity wards positioned with stop-watches waiting for the rascals to commence their pompous procession into our everyday lives. Look for these Millennium Babies to continue as a special focus of attention for years to come. Expect their conceit to grow in proportion to the number of news articles as their every move is documented, their psyches analyzed, their scandals exposed, their music favored, their politics voted on... But wait! Didn't we all go through this once before? Yes, but fellow Boomers, we are much older and wiser now, and ready to bow out of the kleig lights. Being the center of attention is an arduous task. It's high time to pass that unwelcome honor to the new kids on the block (and we'll see how little they enjoy it).
Ron Callari is the publisher and editor of www.y-two-k.com. He recommends checking out kidd millennium's "millennium mom sweepstakes.", so you can follow the hero from conception to birth (01/01/00) and beyond.
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