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	Hoping for Hysteria By Declan McCullagh March 23, 1999 Watching for the first signs of Y2K panic has become an online spectator sport. Like druids who butchered bulls and examined the entrails for portents, Y2K devotees -- fans is too tame a word -- spend hours a day scanning the Net and the wires for the first hint of spreading jitters. The game has developed its own vocabulary, complete with unflattering descriptions of "the herd of sheeple" who might, someday, wake up and start stampeding. We suppose it's like being in a crowded theater with the exits mobbed -- except you'll survive just fine if that Martha Stewart survival gear you've been lusting for is out of stock. There's a desperate and hungry eagerness to all of this. Many of the most ardent fans have spent months or years preparing for the worst, laying in that predictable stash of rice and beans to ward off starvation -- or, if Y2K is a non-event, years of grocery shopping. Not only do they predict Y2K calamity, but they're happily looking forward to it. So it was with naked glee that Y2K buffs worldwide celebrated the apparent conversion of former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger to their side. The cause for their celebration: A report in a London newspaper. "At a high-powered millennium meeting in Washington recently, delegates were stunned to hear Henry Kissinger announce that he intended to withdraw all his money from the bank as 2000 nears. Mr Foot's statement this week has fuelled fears that lesser mortals will follow the former United States Secretary of State's lead, precipitating a dangerous run on the banks," The Times of London reported on Saturday. Loud was the rejoicing. "Kissinger becoming a doomster is quite an event!" one fellow chortled. "I wonder whether his mattresses will be large enough for him to hide all his money." The conspiracy theories followed apace. "Sir Henry 'Golem' Kissinger's agit-prop statement in a Brit's newspaper indicate something sinister is afoot," mused another. Veteran doom-and-gloomer Gary North couldn't pass up the chance to join the fun, serving up a tantalizing mix of glee with black-helicopter overtones. Kissinger "will soon issue a denial," North confidently predicted. Nobody stopped to check facts. Nobody asked why no US newspaper reported Kissinger's apparent conversion. The Times didn't offer any details that would let its readers verify information about the "high-powered millennium meeting." Was Kissinger misquoted, or his remarks mischaracterized? In all this fuss, there's one perfect bit of synchronicity. It was in a January 2, 1999 article in the Ventura County Star. The paper quoted Rev. Steve Davis, pastor of Monte Vista Presbyterian Church. He offered the reporter an impromptu lesson in global realpolitik and millennialism: "I've heard Bill Clinton and Henry Kissinger identified as the Beast. That new and bizarre interpretation has no grounding in biblical text."		FEATURES Book Reviews Y2K already has spawned its own genre. We tell you what books are worth buying. Chip 'n Little Cartoons Chip 'n Little goes on TV Chip 'n Little visits John Koskinen Chip 'n Little saves the world Warning: This cartoon has been called "foolish and tasteless." Y2K from A to Z Y2K Haiku Traditionalists may be shocked. Mad Cow Culture What does Y2K have in common with today's Mad Cow Culture? Answer: Everything. Declan McCullagh's Y2K articles Psychology of Y2K LATEST NEWS As of December 31, 1999 Get Your T-Shirt Quick Bill Gates Does Y2K Reader Feedback A Sarcastic Calendar Cooking After the Apocalypse A Real Y2K Disaster Hitchhiker's Guide Meets Y2K