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	California's Computers Crash By Declan McCullagh October 26, 1999 Just when it seemed like government bureaucrats couldn't get any more incompetent, along comes an event that renews our deepseated belief in the slothfulness, ineptitude, and sheer idiocy of humanity. The latest faith-reaffirming news item that crossed our desks came from the Los Angeles Times, which reported that "massive computer crashes have repeatedly forced agencies throughout California to turn away customers for driver's licenses, food vouchers and other services." "The Highway Patrol suddenly had difficulty checking criminal records. Child Protective Services could not get quick access to abuse files. For two days Glendale's Department of Motor Vehicles office had to process driver's license renewals manually. And one consulting firm clocked 19,000 minutes of intermittent outages--an eternity in the fast-paced world of computer technology--from January to July," the Times said in an October 4 article. Police even impounded some cars because of computer glitches. What does this have to do with Y2K? At first glance, nothing. And also at second and third. Heck, we took a long hard look at it, eyeing it in ways that Jesse Helms hopes to make illegal in some states, and we still couldn't find any Y2K connection. But that didn't stop both bureaucrats and the Times from linking the two. "This has been a lot worse than anything we expect from Y2K," Elias Cortez, the state's chief information officer, told the paper. Well, maybe. We suspect that Cortez may be saying what he really believes when he downplays Y2K concerns. But the inability of government officials to fix even trivial computer glitches when the lights are on, the programmers are at work, and the payroll system is belching out checks sans problems doesn't reassure us very much at all when we think about what happens what that fat haunch of nondescript incompetence is dropped into a pool teeming with hungry sharks on 1-1-00.		FEATURES Book Reviews Y2K already has spawned its own genre. We tell you what books are worth buying. Chip 'n Little Cartoons Chip 'n Little goes on TV Chip 'n Little visits John Koskinen Chip 'n Little saves the world Warning: This cartoon has been called "foolish and tasteless." Y2K from A to Z Y2K Haiku Traditionalists may be shocked. Mad Cow Culture What does Y2K have in common with today's Mad Cow Culture? Answer: Everything. Declan McCullagh's Y2K articles Psychology of Y2K LATEST NEWS As of December 31, 1999 Get Your T-Shirt Quick Bill Gates Does Y2K Reader Feedback A Sarcastic Calendar Cooking After the Apocalypse A Real Y2K Disaster Hitchhiker's Guide Meets Y2K