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	The Y2K Blues By Mike Gutierrez (aka Southside Slim) October 5, 1999 Woke up dis morning my achin' head was spinnin' roun', Got so many legacy programs I jus' know we gonna drown I gotta real bad feelin' ain't nothin' can help us now Some wheres in middle fifties, best as I can recall, We started coding thousands of lines of Assembler and Cobol I gotta real bad feelin' ain't nothin' can help us now We kept on a codin' braggin' about how many KLOC's, We punched up those cards and kept feeding that Big Blue box I gotta real bad feelin' ain't nothin' can help us now Generatin' blue bar paper in ceiling high mounds, We drank our coffee in gallons and ate doughnuts by the pound I gotta real bad feelin' ain't nothin' can help us now 'Twas the days of vacuum tubes and hard wired boards, We made anyone a programmer and hired 'em in hordes I gotta real bad feelin' ain't nothin' can help us now Thought we were smart, tried to save those two little bytes, And now it's back to haunt us causin' all these sleepless nights I gotta real bad feelin' ain't nothin' can help us now And now this devil's upon us meaner than an rabid junk yard dog, Leaving stressed out system managers confused and in a fog I gotta real bad feelin' ain't nothin' can help us now An' if that weren't all and even bad 'nough, We got thousands of contractors tellin' us they really know their stuff I gotta real bad feelin' ain't nothin' can help us now We're spending cash dollars by the buckets and truckload, But we even ain't got one system out of user test mode I gotta real bad feelin' ain't nothin' can help us now Can't see no easy solution the flames are getting higher, Before the last day of '99 you can bet I'm gonna retire I gotta real bad feelin' ain't nothin' can help us now Lord Have Mercy!		FEATURES Book Reviews Y2K already has spawned its own genre. We tell you what books are worth buying. Chip 'n Little Cartoons Chip 'n Little goes on TV Chip 'n Little visits John Koskinen Chip 'n Little saves the world Warning: This cartoon has been called "foolish and tasteless." Y2K from A to Z Y2K Haiku Traditionalists may be shocked. Mad Cow Culture What does Y2K have in common with today's Mad Cow Culture? Answer: Everything. Declan McCullagh's Y2K articles Psychology of Y2K LATEST NEWS As of December 31, 1999 Get Your T-Shirt Quick Bill Gates Does Y2K Reader Feedback A Sarcastic Calendar Cooking After the Apocalypse A Real Y2K Disaster Hitchhiker's Guide Meets Y2K